Sex. It’s what got you that little bundle of joy in the first place.

Don’t be coy, you’re a mom - we already know you’ve done it at least once. Chances are you might want to try it again someday, but when? Better yet, how? And for those of you still recovering from the shock of conception or a traumatic birth you may even be asking yourself, why?

When Can You Have Sex Again?

Whether you gave birth naturally or via c-section, it’s likely that your doctor will suggest waiting at least four to six weeks before resuming intercourse. You can confirm this during your postpartum check up--it's usually scheduled around that time. While four to six weeks may seem like an eternity to some, others may be cringing at the prospect of jumping back in the saddle so soon. Things take time to heal and everyone heals at their own rate, so if you’re still sore, hold off for now. 

Your hormones have a major impact on your libido, so the desire might not be there at first. If it takes you a few months before you’re ready, that’s okay too.

Let’s be clear about this: do not let anyone pressure you to have sex before you are ready. It may sound like a lecture you once got in high school, but it holds true no matter what your age or your relationship to the other party. He may be the father of your child, but if you’re not there yet, he needs to be respectful and take “no” for an answer. Assure him that it will happen again someday, maybe even soon.  If you feel up for it, consider other activities you two can enjoy.

How to Have Sex After Baby?

Whenever you do decide to get back in the groove, it’s a good idea to take it slowly. Vaginal dryness may be an issue, particularly if you are breastfeeding. There are plenty of lubricants out there to help resolve the issue, but stick to ones that are water-based to avoid irritating sensitive tissues. Consider the “woman-on-top” approach for more control over the speed and depth of penetration.

Some women claim their sex lives are better than ever after giving birth; others may have a different experience. It might feel a little bit “unusual” at first. Just like any other part of the body, exercise is important. Pelvic floor exercises called Kegels will help you get back into shape. You've all heard it before: squeeze like you have to pee. That's a Kegel. Practice them daily!

If you still find intercourse difficult, it’s likely just too soon. Any concerns such as excessive pain, cramping, bleeding, or unusual discharge, should be brought to the attention of your doctor immediately.

Why Have Sex?

Sex is a healthy part of any committed relationship. You’ve been through quite a bit together in the last several months and regaining a little private time and intimacy is a good thing. Forget the fact that you haven’t slept and don’t worry if your body doesn’t look exactly the way it did before you got pregnant, those things will come in time.

Being wanted has an amazing way of making you feel sexy too, so why not give it a try? Let him pour it on thick and woo you back into the bedroom.

Tia O'Neill is a glamour diva turned new mom. She currently resides in Virginia with her husband and newborn son, Justice.